


Wasn't Me

by balloonstand



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-23
Updated: 2015-07-23
Packaged: 2018-04-10 18:51:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4403225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/balloonstand/pseuds/balloonstand
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Babe, I can explain.” </p><p>That’s great, Raven thinks distantly as she watches this blonde chick scramble off her boyfriend’s dick. Please explain this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wasn't Me

“Babe, I can explain.”

 _That’s great,_ Raven thinks distantly as she watches this blonde chick scramble off her boyfriend’s dick. _Please explain this._ Finn still has his shirt on, but the girl is completely naked and she has to brush past Raven in the tiny bedroom as she hunts for her clothes.

Finn blabbers on, something about how this isn’t what it looks like, as though it could possibly be anything else, and Raven is tracking the blonde chick with her eyes. The girl keeps shooting her the sorriest horrified looks and a couple of times she parts her lips like she is going to say something. It’s clear from her expression what she is going to say: _I had no idea he had a girlfriend._ Raven believes it, and that really hurts her. She can never stop talking about Finn, but Finn can pick up a girl and seduce her and never even hint at Raven.

The girl is putting her bra on and Raven realizes that she probably shouldn’t be staring. She forces herself to turn back to Finn. Immediately she wishes she hadn’t. His eyes are wide and full of tears. He looks desperate. She wishes she didn’t know him so well – wishes that she didn’t know that the last time his face looked like this was when he was arguing with the vet about Button’s diagnosis – because seeing his expression makes her want to help him fix what’s wrong. It’s years and years of habit that she can’t shake even now when _he_ is what’s wrong.

“Raven, please, can we talk about this?” Finn is saying. The blonde girl is shaking her head as she pulls her skirt back on. “I love you, I love-“

“Stop, enough,” Raven cuts in, just stopping herself from putting her hands over her ears and going _la la la la_. “I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to hear anything from you ever again, I don’t want to even look at you.” Her voice cracks at the end and she wants to scream. She turns on her heel and walks out of the apartment before Finn can say anything to change her mind. She only makes it as far as the stairwell before she sits herself down and bursts into tears.

She is an idiot, she feels like such an idiot. She hadn’t seen this coming at all, not for one moment. How long had she been missing the obvious fact that her boyfriend, the boy she had loved her whole life, was fucking someone else?

“Sorry, excuse me,” someone says quietly behind her. From where she is sitting, Raven is blocking the whole stairwell.

She stands hastily. “Sorry I-“ Raven cuts herself off as she sees whose way she is obstructing. The blonde chick is fully clothed and not quite able to meet Raven’s eye. Raven’s mouth works open and shut but no sound comes out of it.

“Sorry,” the girl says again. “I know I’m probably the last person you want to see right now.”

Snot dribbles out of Raven’s nose and she hastily wipes it away. “Actually Finn is the last person I want to see right now,” she says. Her voice is nasal and shaky from all the crying. “But yeah, you’re probably a close second.”

The girl looks genuinely upset. “I swear, I had no idea-“

“I know,” Raven cuts in. She doesn’t really want to hear it.

The girl nods, like she gets it. She digs around in her bag for a second and pulls out a travel packet of tissues. She holds them out wordlessly to Raven. Raven reminds herself that Finn is really the one to blame here and reaches to take the tissues.

Their fingers brush as they transfer the tissues between their hands. It is an insignificant brush of skin on skin, barely a touch at all. Instinctually, and definitely without thinking at all, Raven clasps her fingers around the girl’s for a moment. The girl looks at her in surprise and Raven’s cheeks burn. She snatches the tissues away with a mumbled _thanks_ and busies herself with opening them. She pivots to give the girl space to get around her.

“I’m Clarke, by the way,” the girl says.

“Raven,” Raven says slowly.

“It’s nice to- I mean,” Clarke fumbles through her niceties. “Good to meet you.”

“Yeah, I…” Raven trails off awkwardly.

They stand there stiffly for a few more moments and then Clarke retreats slowly down the stairs. Raven drops her head into her hands and rubs at her brow. What the fuck.

**

Starbucks is more crowded than Raven has ever seen it. Yeah, it’s the week before finals, but there are people sitting on the floor for fuck’s sake. Raven sighs and a bit of snow caught in her hair frees itself to drop down the back of her shirt. She doesn’t want to brave the cold looking for another studying spot.

Out of the corner of her eye, Raven sees an exhausted-looking girl shoving a chemistry textbook into her backpack. Raven races toward it, tripping over someone’s legs as she does so. She gets to the table just as the girl leaves and she slams her bag down on the table to claim it.

Except that someone else has dropped their books on it too, at almost the exact same moment. Raven looks up, ready for this fight. She is not giving up this table.

She meets the eyes of a startled-looking Clarke.

“Raven?” Clarke says in surprise.

“Clarke,” Raven says. She tries to inject her voice with the cool disdain of an ex-girlfriend seeing her boyfriend’s mistress, but she is a little too out of breath for that. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Clarke looks down at Raven’s bag on the table and then back up at Raven. “This is my table.”

“It’s mine,” Raven says. She sits down to make her point.

Clarke sits too. “I don’t have time to go anywhere else. I have a fifteen page poly-sci paper due in two days that I haven’t even started yet because I still have to finish this ten page philosophy paper due in-“ she looks at her watch “-two hours. And I still have two other classes I have to worry about too.”

“All right, jesus,” Raven says, holding her hands up in surrender. Just listening to Clarke run through that whole list is making her stressed out. “I guess we can- share the table?”

Clarke considers this. “I call the outlet,” she says, pulling out her laptop charger.

Clarke hits every key on her keyboard like it is personally responsible for orphans, famine, and war. Raven has to slip in her headphones after a minute otherwise she is going to break Clarke’s fingers off of her hands. Even with her music playing in her ears, Raven is distracted by the _thud-thud-thud-thud_ of Clarke’s typing. She can’t hear it anymore, but her eye keeps wandering from the pages of her engineering textbook and over to Clarke’s hands. She types really fast, Raven notice. Her fingers fly over the keys with surprising speed. Raven wonders how often she has to replace her keys. She grins as she thinks that and her gaze sweeps up to Clarke’s face. Clarke picks that moment to look over at Raven and she catches her smiling.

Clarke’s lips twitch up in response. She smiles to herself as she goes back to attacking her keyboard. Raven tries to wipe her expression.

She doesn’t get as much studying done as she would have liked.

**

“Oh come on, you’re gonna have so much fun,” Octavia promises as she drags Raven into the bar. “There is karaoke and everything!”

“I hate karaoke,” Raven reminds her. Octavia was there during the Smash Mouth debacle of ’05.

“You _love_ karaoke,” Octavia counters. “And you have totally earned this. You aced your finals and turned in your last timecard. It’s time to get hammered.”

Raven laughs and lets herself be led over to where Octavia’s brother is holding a table for them. Octavia said he was bringing some friends, and honestly Raven should have seen this coming.

She has been seeing Clarke all over campus for the past week. She can’t remember seeing her around before this, but now that Raven doesn’t want to see the girl that her boyfriend cheated on her with she is suddenly everywhere that Raven is. It annoys her that she isn’t more irritated about seeing her everywhere. It’s weird in that _I’ve-seen-you-naked-and-on-top-of-my-boyfriend_ kind of way, but not weird enough for Raven to avoid her eye or ignore her when she waves at Raven.

“Hey, Clarke,” Raven says.

“Oh, do you two know each other?” Bellamy asks with all the shit-eatingness of someone who knows the exact details of their acquaintance. Raven narrows her eyes at him. He grins back at her unrepentantly.

“So you’re buying us drinks tonight, right?” Clarke prods.

It only takes two rounds before they’re sending each other up to the karaoke machine to sing. Some dark-haired boy that Bellamy brought butchers the Rolling Stones’ “Satisfaction” and Octavia rocks “I Love Rock and Roll.” Bellamy successfully dodges a song of his own by pointing out that he has been buying their drinks for them and Raven is actually having a lot of fun. Clarke is too, laughing the loudest out of all of them, like maybe she needed this, needed to cut loose more than any of the rest of them did. Raven wonders abruptly how her papers went.

Octavia slings her arm around Raven’s shoulder. “Raven, I think it’s your turn for karaoke,” she says.

“No,” Raven says. She shakes her head for emphasis and it makes her a little dizzy.

“ _Yes_ ,” Octavia says.

“No,” Raven says again, but less convincingly. “I don’t want to make an ass of myself up there alone.”

“Then Clarke will sing with you. That way you won’t make an ass of yourself _alone_ ,” Bellamy says. Raven wonders if he can smile without looking some variation of smug.

Raven declines again and then there is some shuffling around and next thing she knows, Octavia is putting the mic in her hand and telling her not to worry, she knows that Raven knows this one by heart.

Raven looks over and Clarke has the other mic. She shrugs at Raven and then they both laugh when they recognize the opening notes of their karaoke song. Clarke raises her mic to her mouth.

“Summer lovin’ had me a blast,” she sings. She smiles at Raven as she does and Raven smiles back and raises her own mic.

“Summer lovin’ happened so fast,” Raven sings.

They probably suck. Raven’s singing voice isn’t that great to begin with. Raven doesn’t remember the next morning if they were any good or not. She remembers having one thought: _what the fuck was that?_

Okay, two thoughts: _Clarke’s lips are so red_ and _what the fuck was that?_

_**_

Raven shows up almost thirty minutes early to her first class the next semester. The science building is maze of classrooms and Raven wanted to give herself enough time to find it. She has a plan to graduate early and to graduate with honors. She won’t be able to do that if she does things like show up late to class on the first day.

She checks the door and it’s unlocked. Raven pushes the door open, thinking about going over the syllabus again while she waits for class to start. She doesn’t realize that she’s not alone until Clarke speaks.

“Hi, Raven.”

Raven jumps a foot in the air. “Oh. Hey, Clarke.” She feels herself smile at Clarke like they’re friends and it hits Raven that they kind of are. And regardless however Raven is supposed to feel about it, she- she likes it.

“What are you doing here? Are you taking Savarese’s class too?” Raven asks. She thinks about when they shared a table at Starbucks and how little studying she got done. She hopes Clarke doesn’t want to start a study group with her. Raven would have to finally buy those nicer headphones that she had open in a tab for the last month. And she would have to make a better studying playlist, something with a good beat that would drown out Clarke’s keyboard pounding.

“I’m actually your TA,” Clarke says.

“What? Really?”

Clarke bursts out laughing. “No, I’m just kidding. You should have seen your _face_ though.” She pulls an exaggeratedly surprised face, then laughs some more and Raven joins in. “You looked like you were going to slap me.”

“No, I didn’t,” Raven insists. “I was just surprised! You said you were taking poly-sci and philosophy.”

Clarke smiles and says, “I had a poly-sci class in here just now.”

Raven puts her elbows on her desk and leans forward toward Clarke. “Is that your major?”

Clarke nods. “Double major with economics.”

“You’re a fun person.”

“Yeah, I like to think so.”

Raven scrambles for something to say. She can’t think of anything, but she if she says nothing then the conversation will be over and Clarke will leave. Raven racks her brain for something to say that isn’t just an asinine observation about the weather.

“I can’t believe you’re taking an eight AM class,” Raven says finally. “I could barely wake up for my nine-thirty.” She hopes that Clarke doesn’t point out that she got to that class almost half an hour early.

Clarke just smiles. “I like morning classes.” When she sees Raven’s expression – disgust mingled with amusement – she continues, “I like naps. You have no idea how good it is to finish class in the early afternoon and get right back into bed.” She stretches a little like she is settling into her covers, pulling Raven’s eyes down. She hastily drags her gaze back up.

“Sure I do,” Raven says. “I just do it five hours later.”

“That’s just called going to bed, Raven.” The sound of her name in Clarke’s voice makes Raven-

The classroom door swings open and a couple of Raven’s classmates sleepily trickle in.

“I should get going,” Clarke says. “Maybe I’ll see you here on Thursday.”

One of the guys who just came in very unsubtly checks out Clarke’s ass as she leaves. He nudges his buddy and wiggles his eyebrows. He sees Raven watching him and is visibly unnerved by whatever expression she is wearing.

**

Raven is outside Clarke’s classroom, jittery from more than caffeine as she waits for the rest of the class to empty out. For the past few weeks she had been getting here early enough to see Clarke for a few minutes before her own class, but she has never gotten here this early.

Raven impatiently looks around a boy making an irritatingly slow exit and she can’t see anyone besides Clarke still in the classroom. Raven hurries in.

Clarke seems pleasantly surprised to see her there already.

“So,” Raven starts. She pauses, then starts again. “So I was planning to go to the game this weekend, and since I run into you everywhere and I’ll probably run into you there anyway-“ Raven has to stop to take a breath “- I though I’d ask you.”

Clarke frowns. “Ask me what?”

Raven frowns back. “Ask you to go to the game with me.”

Clarke says nothing for a moment. Then she smiles – hesitantly? – and nods.

It takes Raven about six years to get dressed on game day. She tries on nearly every shirt in her wardrobe and then just forces herself to put the first shirt back on. As she walks over she dodges the painted and already inebriated fuckboys littering the sidewalk. She thinks she sees Finn out of the corner of her eye, but she just hurries on. She’s a little late after spending all that time figuring out what to wear.

Clarke is waiting for her at the bench they agreed to meet at. She doesn’t see Raven at first, so Raven gets about eight steps of observing Clarke in her neutral state. She has her arms crossed beneath her breasts and is leaning back against the bench. Her hair whips around her face in the wind, but she doesn’t seem to notice. Her eyes are distant and she seems lost in thought. Raven wants to climb into her head. Is she excited for the game? Is she happy to spend time with Raven? Raven has replayed Clarke accepting her invitation again and again in her mind, and each time she is less certain that Clarke accepted out of anything more than politeness.

Clarke sees Raven. She straightens up immediately and a smile breaks out across her face. She waves like she is afraid that Raven hasn’t seen her.

Raven waves back. “Hey, have you been waiting long?”

“I just got here.”

“Ready?”

“Yeah.”

The stadium seats are narrow and the fans are packed in together tightly. Clarke’s left shoulder, arm, thigh, and knee are pressed against Raven’s right. The stadium is loud and vibrates with its noise like a revving engine. Raven can feel an answering energy and excitement within herself. It’s not for the game, though; she hardly watches the game at all.

Raven thinks about honesty more and more these days. There is academic honesty, honesty in a friendship. There is honesty in relationships, like telling your girlfriend that you want to see other people instead of making her figure it out for herself when she walks in on you screwing another girl. For that matter, there is the honesty of telling the new girl that the old girl is still in the picture. But Raven hasn’t been preoccupied with any of those kinds of honesty. Honesty with herself, that is what has been running around her mind, distracting her when she needs to study and keeping her awake when she wants to sleep. She hasn’t been honest yet, but here in this buzzing stadium there is enough going on that she can distract herself enough to let the thought creep in.

She wants Clarke. She wants Clarke.

**

Raven should have turned off her phone as soon as she started drinking. It would have saved her the anxiety of wondering how many exclamation points to put at the end of her text to Clarke: _your hair is so pretty!!!_

Three doesn’t seem like enough to communicate her sincerity, but more than three looks sarcastic. Raven frowns as she types another exclamation point. No, that’s definitely too much. She tries to delete it but hits send instead on accident.

“Oh no,” she says.

That is the first thing Raven remembers the next morning when she wakes up. Her thoughts go like this: _ouch my head, why is it so bright– wait, how many exclamation marks did I use?_

She can’t remember. And she can’t remember if she texted Clarke again after that. She feels around for her phone.

Raven: _your hair is so pretty!!!!_

Clarke: _How drunk are you?_

Raven: _I;m not drink_

Clarke: _You misspelled drunk_

Raven: _ok medium drunk_

And that’s it. Raven buries her head in her pillow and wishes that she had never met Clarke. Or that Clarke had texted her something better last night.

**

Raven tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. Her hair tie broke otherwise her hair would still be up in a ponytail and not falling in her eyes as she tries to study for her mathematical physics midterm. She frowns at her textbook, dragging her finger over the page as she tries to find her spot. Just as she finds it, her hair flops into her eyes again. If they were in her room and not Clarke’s she could just get another one, but here she has to keep pushing it out of her face. Raven makes an inarticulate annoyed noise.

“Oh just come here,” Clarke says, putting her highlighter down. She scoots her way up the bed, carefully avoiding the books and papers laid out between them. She pulls a hair tie off of her wrist and Raven leans in so that Clarke can collect her hair into a ponytail. It’s lower than Raven likes to wear but Raven isn’t thinking about that. Clarke’s face is only inches away from hers. There is a little wrinkle between her eyebrows and her lips are pressed together in concentration. Her fingers pull gently along Raven’s scalp. It sends a shiver down Raven’s spine and she has to close her eyes for a moment.

When she opens them, Clarke is looking at her. She drops her gaze down to Raven’s lips and Raven’s breath catches. She leans in a little, then pulls back. Clarke makes a little noise. She wraps her hand around the back of Raven’s head and tugs her in for a kiss.

Raven presses into it eagerly. She parts her lips and Clarke does the same. She licks into Raven’s mouth. Raven brings her hands up to grab at Clarke’s shoulders. When the two of them break apart, Raven has to laugh because she is so happy.

“What?” Clarke asks, mouth curling into a smile that sends a burst of heat coiling through Raven’s body.

“Nothing,” Raven says, leaning into kiss her again.

They kiss for hours, probably. They kiss until Raven is dizzy with it. Some time during all that kissing they take each other’s shirts off. Raven doesn’t realize until Clarke runs her fingers along the edges of Raven’s bra like a question. Raven sucks in her breath as she nods, lips brushing Clarke’s as she does so. Clarke unclasps it smoothly and then she is brushing her thumbs over Raven’s nipples. Raven arches into the touch and Clarke looks at her– Raven has never seen anything more beautiful.

She drags her hands up the smooth skin of Clarke’s sides and brings them to rest lightly on the cups of her bra. She hesitates.

“I’ve never- I don’t know-” she starts. It’s a little shocking to hear her voice sound so rough after all they have done is kissed.

“It’s okay,” Clarke says. “Don’t do anything you don’t want to.”

“But I _do_ want to-“

“Then you’ll be good.”

Raven takes a deep breath – she needs to breath more evenly or she is going to pass out – and slides her hands so she is cupping Clarke’s breasts. She looks up at Clarke and Clarke is looking back with eyes slightly glazed over. Raven unhooks her bras and- she can’t help herself. She licks a circle around one of Clarke’s nipples and then closes her lips over it. Clarke’s hands are in her hair, tugging her in closer. Clarke presses against her, sending Raven falling back, off-balance. She lands on a book and the corner of it digs into her spine.

“Oh, ouch,” she mutters. Clarke laughs and they push all their homework onto the floor. Clarke gets up to put her laptop on her desk. As she walks back toward the bed, she unbuttons her jeans and slides them off. Raven leans back on the bed and drinks in the long lines and curves of Clarke. Clarke smiles at the attentions and places a gentle, teasing kiss lightly on Raven’s lips. Raven tries to deepen the kiss, but Clarke is already kissing her way down Raven’s body. She lingers along Raven’s waistband with little licks and bites. She looks up.

“Is this okay?” she asks and Raven nods eagerly.

Clarke dips her fingers beneath Raven’s waistband, smoothing touches across her skin and sending waves of heat crashing through Raven’s body. Raven hardly notices when Clarke begins to pull her jeans and underwear down. She taps Raven’s hip and Raven raises up automatically. Clarke licks at her, tentatively for all of one swipe of her tongue, and then confidently. Raven gasps and clutches at Clarke’s hair, not sure if she means to push her away or pull her in closer. It’s so much, it’s- Raven gasps again.

Clarke swirls her tongue and flicks it, making Raving arch up and moan. She tries to bite the moan back, but Clarke covers one of Raven’s hands with her own, like she is encouraging her. Raven lets herself grind down on Clarke’s face with her hips. Raven has never felt anything so good, and she probably tells Clarke that five times, gasping for breath and dizzy with pleasure. She loses herself in _so good, god so good_ and comes with a moan. Her hands relax in Clarke’s hair. She pushes Clarke’s face away gently when the little, slow licks get to be too much.

She looks at Clarke for a minute. Her eyes might still be a little unfocused from her orgasm. Clarke looks a little blurry and so, so turned on. Raven reaches for her.

“Come here.”

She is a lot less certain of herself than Clarke was, but seeing Clarke try to fuck herself down on Raven’s two fingers is the hottest thing she has ever seen and Raven stops worrying about whether she is doing it right. She dips her head down to lick broad stripes along Clarke’s clit. She tries swirling her tongue and that makes Clarke’s body jerk. Raven does it again.

“Oh god, oh god,” Clarke says. “Do that again.”

Raven does. She wants to savor smell and taste of Clarke, but that will have to wait until next time. Clarke is so close and Raven doesn’t want to tease her by slowing down. Clarke sets a pace with her hips, pumping herself up and down on Raven’s fingers and Raven tries to match it. Clarke starts to say something, but it’s lost in a gasp as she comes.

**

Raven drops her head on the library table. She can’t do it, mathematical physics is kicking her ass. She gloomily predicts what failing this class will do to her graduate and postgrad plans.

The smell of coffee wafts over. Raven picks her head up a little.

“I thought you were asleep,” Clarke says. She puts the two cups of coffee she is carrying down on the table and nudges one toward Raven so she knows which one is hers.

“I was,” Raven says. “I was having a nightmare that I suck at physics and I’m going to fail this midterm.”

“You’re going to do great,” Clarke says. “You always do.”

She reaches out a hand and Raven takes it. Clarke swipes her thumb across the back of Raven’s hand soothingly. “If you don’t, then I guess you can just drop out of college and become my trophy girlfriend.”

Raven throws her head back and laughs much more loudly than is appropriate for a library.


End file.
